An interesting addendum to yesterday's "Let them Eat Prozac" post...apparently Terruh Czar Tom Ridge is going to resign his post after the November elections because--get this--with a salary of $175,000/year, he isn't making enough money to put his kids through college!
First of all, why should it be Tom's responsibility alone to bankroll his kids' college education? Make 'em get loans like I and millions of po' kids did! What kind of pussy-ass welfare queens are Ridge's brats, anyway?
Second of all, if a comfortably middle-class parent can't send his kids to college anymore, I think the USA's in bigger trouble than anybody is willing to admit.
At least Ridge has the option of tossing back his Prozac with a snifter of cognac.
First of all, why should it be Tom's responsibility alone to bankroll his kids' college education? Make 'em get loans like I and millions of po' kids did! What kind of pussy-ass welfare queens are Ridge's brats, anyway?
Second of all, if a comfortably middle-class parent can't send his kids to college anymore, I think the USA's in bigger trouble than anybody is willing to admit.
At least Ridge has the option of tossing back his Prozac with a snifter of cognac.
by at 12:55 PM
I am completely angry, absolutely incensed by the remarks recently made about Max Cleland by Ann Coulter. For those not in the know, Max Cleland is a decorated (Silver Star, Bronze Star) war veteran who lost two legs and his right arm during Operation Pegasus, a joint U.S. Army & Marine mission designed to clean up the North Vietnamese divisions left after the brutal attack on the U.S. Marine garrison at Khe Sanh in 1968. He also was a U.S. Senator representing Georgia up until the GOP got downright nasty during the election campaign of 2002, going so far as to call him a traitor and insinuating he was politically in bed with the Non-Toxic Twins, Osama and Saddam. But now he works for the KerryEdwards camp and it's really open season on the man.
Ann the Ice Queen, Princess of Tact, wrote in recent columns that the grenade Max tried to throw out of harm's way was his own while en route to drink some cold ones at the officer's club at the Khe Sanh firebase, that the event was nothing more than an accident and Max is unworthy of the praise bestowed upon him. Well, the truth is he saw the grenade after coming off a helo following a patrol excursion with the 1st Cavalry and never thought twice about whose fucking grenade it was; he saw it, saw danger for his men, and dropped on the thing. Later a U.S. soldier admitted that it was his, not Max's.
Max made the penultimate sacrifice and saved the lives of innumerable men, while Ann Coulter was busy doing... just what were you doing, Ann? Where were you? Have you ever served in the military? Ever even thought about it? Of course not. You're the byproduct of privilege, nary a worry about soiling your hands or sullying your clothes for anything more than the gardenias in your backyard. Thanks to people like John McCain, John Kerry, and yes, Max Cleland, you have the right to say whatever morally repugnant claptrap runs across those cobwebs in your head. But from the rest of us who respect the men and women who give everything they have, everything they are to serve in the United States military and do whatever those in charge tell them to do: go fuck yourself, Ann Coulter.
Ann the Ice Queen, Princess of Tact, wrote in recent columns that the grenade Max tried to throw out of harm's way was his own while en route to drink some cold ones at the officer's club at the Khe Sanh firebase, that the event was nothing more than an accident and Max is unworthy of the praise bestowed upon him. Well, the truth is he saw the grenade after coming off a helo following a patrol excursion with the 1st Cavalry and never thought twice about whose fucking grenade it was; he saw it, saw danger for his men, and dropped on the thing. Later a U.S. soldier admitted that it was his, not Max's.
Max made the penultimate sacrifice and saved the lives of innumerable men, while Ann Coulter was busy doing... just what were you doing, Ann? Where were you? Have you ever served in the military? Ever even thought about it? Of course not. You're the byproduct of privilege, nary a worry about soiling your hands or sullying your clothes for anything more than the gardenias in your backyard. Thanks to people like John McCain, John Kerry, and yes, Max Cleland, you have the right to say whatever morally repugnant claptrap runs across those cobwebs in your head. But from the rest of us who respect the men and women who give everything they have, everything they are to serve in the United States military and do whatever those in charge tell them to do: go fuck yourself, Ann Coulter.
by at 1:20 PM
Well, today's economic data is nothing shy of devastaing for the administration--Americans' income shrank over the last two years, unemployment is increasing--and tonight is the apex of the DNC...if the White House is planning to release some stratagem to seize control of the headlines, today's the day to do it.
What will it be? Will they take Osama out of the freezer? Maybe Tom Ridge will crank the Terror-O-Matic up a few notches.
And the Bush campaign's response to those proles unhappy with the jobs picture? Let them eat Prozac.
Yeah, that's wonderful...at a time when employers and HMOs are squeezing employees for health benefits, many can't afford the reality-warping, doe-eyed tranquility of psychotropic medication that Ms. Sheybani apparently enjoys from the comfort of her campaign sinecure. (To speak nothing of the unemployed who have NO health options other than the current "Single Prayer" system!)
I prescribe Sheybani 900 milligrams of FuckYouInTheFace--the most powerful dose of reality you can buy without a prescription!
What will it be? Will they take Osama out of the freezer? Maybe Tom Ridge will crank the Terror-O-Matic up a few notches.
And the Bush campaign's response to those proles unhappy with the jobs picture? Let them eat Prozac.
Yeah, that's wonderful...at a time when employers and HMOs are squeezing employees for health benefits, many can't afford the reality-warping, doe-eyed tranquility of psychotropic medication that Ms. Sheybani apparently enjoys from the comfort of her campaign sinecure. (To speak nothing of the unemployed who have NO health options other than the current "Single Prayer" system!)
I prescribe Sheybani 900 milligrams of FuckYouInTheFace--the most powerful dose of reality you can buy without a prescription!
by at 8:46 AM
Obama gave a GREAT speech tonight...wow. He was so at ease, and really brought it to a crescendo at the end. This man is going places.*
* (unless he's Kennedyed or Wellstoned, of course.)
I thought the best part was insisting that EVERY VOTE BE COUNTED this election ("at least most of the time"). Hear that, Jeb? Can you dig it?
Dean had a great speech too...not nearly as fiery as the ones from the primaries, but he reprised part of his infamous Iowa speech to great applause. He's such a class act, and a fine speaker. RAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
C-SPAN is definitely worth getting cable for--fuck the "news" networks.
* (unless he's Kennedyed or Wellstoned, of course.)
I thought the best part was insisting that EVERY VOTE BE COUNTED this election ("at least most of the time"). Hear that, Jeb? Can you dig it?
Dean had a great speech too...not nearly as fiery as the ones from the primaries, but he reprised part of his infamous Iowa speech to great applause. He's such a class act, and a fine speaker. RAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
C-SPAN is definitely worth getting cable for--fuck the "news" networks.
by at 8:27 PM
"I never lied to you, I've always been cool
I wanna be elected..."
Man, Barak Obama really disappointed me on Meet the Press yesterday. What's with this "President Bush had good intentions for going into Iraq" crap? The mo fo lied, B!!! You were even against it--what's with the non-answer? Why can't anybody just come right out and say it?
All eyez are on Obama, and since the media has him pegged as a "rising star" in the Democratic Party, he probably feels a lot of pressure to not "rock the boat" too much prior to his keynote address. Party conventions are pure theater anyway, and I imagine addressing the "big picture" would be a major buzzkill for many involved. I know, I know, after the nomination, you're supposed to run to the middle...but as Jim Hightower said, the only thing you find in the middle of the road is a yellow stripe and a dead armadillo.
Obviously there are more issues out there than Iraq, but this is probably the biggest foreign policy blunder we've made since...Vietnam, probably. No amount of sophistry will ever erase the fact that this was an unjustifiable and illegal war, and we will be paying a high price for it for years to come. The sooner everbody comes correct about this--especially the national press--the better.
Our silence makes us accomplices to the crime.
I wanna be elected..."
Man, Barak Obama really disappointed me on Meet the Press yesterday. What's with this "President Bush had good intentions for going into Iraq" crap? The mo fo lied, B!!! You were even against it--what's with the non-answer? Why can't anybody just come right out and say it?
All eyez are on Obama, and since the media has him pegged as a "rising star" in the Democratic Party, he probably feels a lot of pressure to not "rock the boat" too much prior to his keynote address. Party conventions are pure theater anyway, and I imagine addressing the "big picture" would be a major buzzkill for many involved. I know, I know, after the nomination, you're supposed to run to the middle...but as Jim Hightower said, the only thing you find in the middle of the road is a yellow stripe and a dead armadillo.
Obviously there are more issues out there than Iraq, but this is probably the biggest foreign policy blunder we've made since...Vietnam, probably. No amount of sophistry will ever erase the fact that this was an unjustifiable and illegal war, and we will be paying a high price for it for years to come. The sooner everbody comes correct about this--especially the national press--the better.
Our silence makes us accomplices to the crime.
by at 12:43 PM
hey! has anybody seen the new metallica movie?
i got free passes to go see it, but i got them unexpectedly on the day of the show, and iwas like, "dude! i'm not driving to schaumburg to see metallica act like a bunch of bitches for 2 hours, man."
i have to admit, i do have a morbid curiosity in seeing it, just like i had a morbid curiosity to hear stanger and look where that got me. really irritated, that's what.
the more it think about it, the less i want to see sars, jamez, kirk and robert trujillo (of infectious grooves fame) cry about their emotions and sit around in therapy with bob rock. sounds like the feel-good hit of the summer, don't it?
why would i want to see second-handedly how miserable it is to be IN metallica?
i wonder if there's any footage of bob rock sitting on a stool playing bass with those boobs in the movie?
well, if you have seen the movie, let us know what's going on there. i'd love to hear it. if nobody's seen it, i guess i'll just have to wait until it comes out on video.
peace brothers!
i got free passes to go see it, but i got them unexpectedly on the day of the show, and iwas like, "dude! i'm not driving to schaumburg to see metallica act like a bunch of bitches for 2 hours, man."
i have to admit, i do have a morbid curiosity in seeing it, just like i had a morbid curiosity to hear stanger and look where that got me. really irritated, that's what.
the more it think about it, the less i want to see sars, jamez, kirk and robert trujillo (of infectious grooves fame) cry about their emotions and sit around in therapy with bob rock. sounds like the feel-good hit of the summer, don't it?
why would i want to see second-handedly how miserable it is to be IN metallica?
i wonder if there's any footage of bob rock sitting on a stool playing bass with those boobs in the movie?
well, if you have seen the movie, let us know what's going on there. i'd love to hear it. if nobody's seen it, i guess i'll just have to wait until it comes out on video.
peace brothers!
by at 4:24 PM
And it just keeps getting better...now the Republican party is contemplating drafting the Nuge to run against Obama!
Guys, seriously...just give it up. Hit the snooze and try again in '06.
Guys, seriously...just give it up. Hit the snooze and try again in '06.
by at 2:22 PM
Nuts!
I was really looking forward to a Ditka for Senate campaign, but it looks like that ain't gonna happen.
I would have loved to have seen Ditka on the senate floor grabbing his crotch, giving Hillary the finger, or throwing a wad of gum in Daschle's hair. Or maybe chucking a chair at Bill Frist.
I think "da Coach" would spew his anger and rage in a bipartisan fashion that would have made this nation a stronger, safer America.
But that's nothing compared to what he would have done to Barak Obama. I'll bet Obama's thankful he won't have to wrestle Ditka at the next debate. Obama would have been a grease spot by the time Ditka was done with him. And then where would the Illinois Dems be? In big trouble that's where!
But it's all not to be - unfortunately. Now we're going to have to suffer through another dull, boring, old senate race from now until November. Bullshit!
But boy Ditka made quite a ruckus, didn't he? Bet he'll sell plenty of steaks, cars, E.D. meds and sportswear now.
I was really looking forward to a Ditka for Senate campaign, but it looks like that ain't gonna happen.
I would have loved to have seen Ditka on the senate floor grabbing his crotch, giving Hillary the finger, or throwing a wad of gum in Daschle's hair. Or maybe chucking a chair at Bill Frist.
I think "da Coach" would spew his anger and rage in a bipartisan fashion that would have made this nation a stronger, safer America.
But that's nothing compared to what he would have done to Barak Obama. I'll bet Obama's thankful he won't have to wrestle Ditka at the next debate. Obama would have been a grease spot by the time Ditka was done with him. And then where would the Illinois Dems be? In big trouble that's where!
But it's all not to be - unfortunately. Now we're going to have to suffer through another dull, boring, old senate race from now until November. Bullshit!
But boy Ditka made quite a ruckus, didn't he? Bet he'll sell plenty of steaks, cars, E.D. meds and sportswear now.
by at 10:12 AM
I'm surprised at you, Illinois GOP.
Come on, now...Senator Ditka????
Apparently, it's being seriously entertained by the party that can't seem to find ANYBODY in the entire state (let alone Louisiana resident Ditka) who can pass a human decency test.
I suppose if racebaiting businessman Jim OberMensch is your only other viable option, Might Dickya (R-Levitra) sounds like a shoe-in.
Come on, now...
Apparently, it's being seriously entertained by the party that can't seem to find ANYBODY in the entire state (let alone Louisiana resident Ditka) who can pass a human decency test.
I suppose if racebaiting businessman Jim OberMensch is your only other viable option, Might Dickya (R-Levitra) sounds like a shoe-in.
by at 11:43 PM
Hello, everyknife. I just wanted to bring your attention to the new link of the week (Talking Points Memo). It's a blog from DC-based writer Josh Marshall, who has written for the Atlantic Monthly, The New Republic (puke), and other mags. Josh is a keen, incisive writer, and offers excellent analysis of the news of the day...makes Wolf Blitzer sound like a toadying, statist kiss-ass (wait, he is!).
TMP says a major scandal is about to break in DC (regarding the Niger-Iraq uranium sale), one of "tectonic" implications. Stay tuned!
TMP says a major scandal is about to break in DC (regarding the Niger-Iraq uranium sale), one of "tectonic" implications. Stay tuned!
by at 8:09 AM
Now the Ministry of Security is talking about postponing the November elections, using the Spanish terror bombings in March as a justification. The nerve!
If you'll recall, the Spanish government pegged the attacks on its own homegrown terrorist bugbears, the Basque-separatist ETA (what's that in your backpack, Meat?), and not the Moroccan muslim terrorists who actually did it. The Aznar government lied to its people (who are more concerned with ETA than al Q) in an attempt to manipulate the vote--and the results were devastating for the ruling party.
Imagine a government actually lying to its people! Close your eyes, it can't happen here...
Notice anything? The elections went on as scheduled--AS SCHEDULED--and in a contest that was arguably even between the parties of Aznar and Zapatero, the ruling party was thrown out on its collective ass.
This is what the Bush government is actually afraid of! Therefore the need to propagandize and spread fear.
Don't believe the hype.
If you'll recall, the Spanish government pegged the attacks on its own homegrown terrorist bugbears, the Basque-separatist ETA (what's that in your backpack, Meat?), and not the Moroccan muslim terrorists who actually did it. The Aznar government lied to its people (who are more concerned with ETA than al Q) in an attempt to manipulate the vote--and the results were devastating for the ruling party.
Imagine a government actually lying to its people! Close your eyes, it can't happen here...
Notice anything? The elections went on as scheduled--AS SCHEDULED--and in a contest that was arguably even between the parties of Aznar and Zapatero, the ruling party was thrown out on its collective ass.
This is what the Bush government is actually afraid of! Therefore the need to propagandize and spread fear.
Don't believe the hype.
by at 7:53 AM
Oh, by the way, here's a link I found for an mpeg movie that shows some hardcore dude punch Glenn Danzig after Glenn starts acting like the vice president.
OUCH!
OUCH!
by at 6:15 PM
Check out Pete Townshend's latest curmudgeonly diatribe, this time at Michael Moore and Fahrenheit 9/11.
"He says that I refused to allow him to use my song Won't Get Fooled Again in his latest film because I support the war. I have never hidden the fact that at the beginning of the war in Iraq, I was a supporter. But now I am less sure we did the right thing.
"Won't Get Fooled Again," indeed.
And sending people to die in Iraq is on the same level as being badgered by a muckraking Yank filmmaker? Fuck you and your moral relativism, Pete! You make a fine Tory.
Maybe if Moore were selling Hummers or Internet routers or pimping for Big Pharm Pete would have been more receptive to the idea.
Whatta dick. But what do you expect from the guy who whacked Abbie Hoffmann with his guitar at Woodstock...peace and love ain't his thing, clearly. Pete's been so busy lately selling off the Who's oeuvre by the pound (no pun) to corporations he's missed perhaps the single biggest opportunity to make his songs culturally relevant again outside the context of the sixties. Such a shame.
Message to Pro-War Pete: you missed out big time, buddy. Try spending less time on your yacht (downloading kiddie porn in the safety of international waters, no doubt) and more time on land...you might learn a thing or two about life on earth.
"He says that I refused to allow him to use my song Won't Get Fooled Again in his latest film because I support the war. I have never hidden the fact that at the beginning of the war in Iraq, I was a supporter. But now I am less sure we did the right thing.
"Won't Get Fooled Again," indeed.
And sending people to die in Iraq is on the same level as being badgered by a muckraking Yank filmmaker? Fuck you and your moral relativism, Pete! You make a fine Tory.
Maybe if Moore were selling Hummers or Internet routers or pimping for Big Pharm Pete would have been more receptive to the idea.
Whatta dick. But what do you expect from the guy who whacked Abbie Hoffmann with his guitar at Woodstock...peace and love ain't his thing, clearly. Pete's been so busy lately selling off the Who's oeuvre by the pound (no pun) to corporations he's missed perhaps the single biggest opportunity to make his songs culturally relevant again outside the context of the sixties. Such a shame.
Message to Pro-War Pete: you missed out big time, buddy. Try spending less time on your yacht (downloading kiddie porn in the safety of international waters, no doubt) and more time on land...you might learn a thing or two about life on earth.
by at 5:31 PM
Lo and behold, the Beastie Boys have seen fit to shat out another album. Why the hell would they DO that? Does any living person give a cold crap about the Beastie Boys anymore? All right fellas, we KNOW you're from New York City. Wow, that's sooooo cool that you're from NYC! Nobody famous is from there! And you're white guys who rap. Wow, only WHITE GUYS FROM NEW YORK CITY are cool enough to do rap songs. Guess what, the new record is even NAMED AFTER NEW YORK FUCKING CITY. WOW!
Guys, please just quit doing "music." The only people who care about your album have already stolen it from the net.
In other news, don't forget about our show next Friday at the Lyons Den. It will be fun, I promise you that!
Guys, please just quit doing "music." The only people who care about your album have already stolen it from the net.
In other news, don't forget about our show next Friday at the Lyons Den. It will be fun, I promise you that!
by at 10:54 AM
today is a very special day for the inspirational leader of our little band.
you see, today is o.j. simpson's 57th birthday.
happy birthday douchebag! i hope your kids take you some place nice, like benihana, for you birthday.
oh yeah, eat a dick, too.
you see, today is o.j. simpson's 57th birthday.
happy birthday douchebag! i hope your kids take you some place nice, like benihana, for you birthday.
oh yeah, eat a dick, too.
by at 2:13 PM
Howdy, y'all. Just a brief word from your rehab sponsor, with two news items to report:
Tonight the Bottom Lounge on N. Wilton in Chicago will be hosting Von Sass, who for those of you not in the know consists of Norman Conquest on bass, Baron Von Sass on guitar, and yours truly on drums. Come one, come all and sing along to the dangerous tunes we've selected to entertain you with. Show starts at 9pm sharp, with Thunderwing and Black Tiger rounding out the bill. Should be a good time.
Secondly, and this may not mean much to most of you normal people, but Lindsay Lohan officially turned 18 last week. Happy birthday, Lindsay! May my, er, your wildest dreams come true.
Tonight the Bottom Lounge on N. Wilton in Chicago will be hosting Von Sass, who for those of you not in the know consists of Norman Conquest on bass, Baron Von Sass on guitar, and yours truly on drums. Come one, come all and sing along to the dangerous tunes we've selected to entertain you with. Show starts at 9pm sharp, with Thunderwing and Black Tiger rounding out the bill. Should be a good time.
Secondly, and this may not mean much to most of you normal people, but Lindsay Lohan officially turned 18 last week. Happy birthday, Lindsay! May my, er, your wildest dreams come true.
by at 1:56 PM
Rock over London, Rock over Chicago...Kenneth Lay has just been indicted by a New York grand jury.
How much do you want to bet we get to see the first ever "preemptive pardon" by an outgoing President?
How much do you want to bet we get to see the first ever "preemptive pardon" by an outgoing President?
by at 3:29 PM
Greetings from the terminal last call...
Following another sojourn into the American heart of darkness known as the Durty Sowff, Knife of Simpson lives to tell the tale. And oh what tales there are to share. Next time you can corner any one of us, buy us a beer or whiskey or better yet a time share in the Caribbean and we'd be happy to oblige a legend or three-- "No lube! Anarchy!"
Much, much, much love and respect and admiration to Bible of the Devil and Wes Nile of Imperial Battlesnake for being tremendously unique, hardworking, foulmouthed, and hugely unselfish people; for making even the bleakest of rubberstreaked stretches memorable; for indulging the every whim of already tempermental livers; for introducing new and progressively disgusting terms to the lexicon of sex and lovehate; for fostering my Texas Hold'um addiction; for ruling the scene; but most of all for being a great band and even better doodes. Thank you. We owe ya big.
Just saw "Fahrenheit 9-11" this evening. Good agitprop. See it if you ain't already. Any further elaboration would be preaching to the choirboys, I know, but suffice it to say what really stood out in my mind was that most everyone in the just-shy full house stood and applauded at the outset. Quoth loudly one young man in the adjacent row: "Fuck Bush." Yes, indeed, my friend, fuck Bush. And fuck "I, Cheney-Robot" and the whole neocon lot. The next coupla months are going to be brutal on the American consciousness, a watershed moment a la 1968. Just wait.
Following another sojourn into the American heart of darkness known as the Durty Sowff, Knife of Simpson lives to tell the tale. And oh what tales there are to share. Next time you can corner any one of us, buy us a beer or whiskey or better yet a time share in the Caribbean and we'd be happy to oblige a legend or three-- "No lube! Anarchy!"
Much, much, much love and respect and admiration to Bible of the Devil and Wes Nile of Imperial Battlesnake for being tremendously unique, hardworking, foulmouthed, and hugely unselfish people; for making even the bleakest of rubberstreaked stretches memorable; for indulging the every whim of already tempermental livers; for introducing new and progressively disgusting terms to the lexicon of sex and lovehate; for fostering my Texas Hold'um addiction; for ruling the scene; but most of all for being a great band and even better doodes. Thank you. We owe ya big.
Just saw "Fahrenheit 9-11" this evening. Good agitprop. See it if you ain't already. Any further elaboration would be preaching to the choirboys, I know, but suffice it to say what really stood out in my mind was that most everyone in the just-shy full house stood and applauded at the outset. Quoth loudly one young man in the adjacent row: "Fuck Bush." Yes, indeed, my friend, fuck Bush. And fuck "I, Cheney-Robot" and the whole neocon lot. The next coupla months are going to be brutal on the American consciousness, a watershed moment a la 1968. Just wait.
by at 10:24 PM