At long last...Chile's murderous despot Augusto Pinochet has been stripped of immunity from prosecution. Now the case against him for human rights violations and Operation: Condor can go forward. Kissinger must be passing stones right now.
Have a great Memorial Day weekend, everybody. Peeeeeaaaaaaaaace.
Have a great Memorial Day weekend, everybody. Peeeeeaaaaaaaaace.
by at 10:04 AM
Fresh after a weekend face-plant on his mountain bike, President Dubya stumbles and gags his way through YET ANOTHER PRESS CONFERENCE.
The speech was carried by nobody, only PBS and Fox (America's Pravda), and it was another useless rehash of war, terrah, evildoers...zzzzzzzzzzz. Why does anybody bother covering his "speeches" anymore? Every Bush speech is like the special olympics--you have to give him a medal just for showing up and trying.
It was frustrating to hear him choke on the word "Abu-Ghraib"--you know, that place in Iraq that's been causing our government so much trouble lately--as though it was the first time he's encountered it in his life! And not once, but three times! Good God, if you're going to address something and expect people to take you seriously, at least get the pronunciation right! Abooga-rape? A-Boo-yaa-grape? Ooga-Booga? Let's just call it "the Iraqi Prison," then. What an idiot.
One new wrinkle, though...we're gonna demolish Abu-Whatever prison--but first we're gonna "relocate" it. That's some reform, I tell ya! After the evidence at Abu-Ghraib is destroyed, the torture will go on in a shiny new Halliburton superprison, but in a different place, and with a different name...hopefully one Bush can pronounce without choking on his uvula.
Iraqis: do you trust a former governor of Texas to make your country's prison system "more humane?" I wouldn't let that son of a bitch run for town dogcatcher!
by at 11:49 AM
Gas prices. See, this is an issue that affects musicians big time. In order to get our songs on the road, Knife of Simpson gots to pay lots of money in the gas tank to get there. And lets face it, our pay is not too good compared to how much work we put into this band.
In a small way I'm laughing at the guys who just bought new Hummers and new Navigators. The owners of these vehicles operated on the same false assumpion of the late 90s. These dudes budgeted these cars on the premise that all economic conditions would stay exactly the same for the entire life of their trucks. Those of us that were farmers, or anyone who has worked for a living know that SHIT CHANGES ALL OF THE TIME! Hell, all it takes is 4 years with a horrible president and everything can change.
Musicians are caught in the middle. We don't buy vans as a status symbol. Hell, the 'van guy' in a band usually ends up hating that job because it is a huge responsibility. But the rockers are getting caught up in this. If only one thirty-second of the nuevo-rich would have had at least a little forsight, they could have seen high gas prices coming and saved us all (and themselves, for that's the ONLY thing they think about is theyselves.) I hope the yupps adapt by getting more fuel efficient vehicles. It's what should have happened 10 years ago, so let's get on it. As far as the Knife of Simpson indie band goes, we still will have to buy the 1989 Chevy SHit Bag getting 11 gallons to the mile. Not by choice. You'd better appreciate the fact that we're out here rocking. What the hell are you doing?
In a small way I'm laughing at the guys who just bought new Hummers and new Navigators. The owners of these vehicles operated on the same false assumpion of the late 90s. These dudes budgeted these cars on the premise that all economic conditions would stay exactly the same for the entire life of their trucks. Those of us that were farmers, or anyone who has worked for a living know that SHIT CHANGES ALL OF THE TIME! Hell, all it takes is 4 years with a horrible president and everything can change.
Musicians are caught in the middle. We don't buy vans as a status symbol. Hell, the 'van guy' in a band usually ends up hating that job because it is a huge responsibility. But the rockers are getting caught up in this. If only one thirty-second of the nuevo-rich would have had at least a little forsight, they could have seen high gas prices coming and saved us all (and themselves, for that's the ONLY thing they think about is theyselves.) I hope the yupps adapt by getting more fuel efficient vehicles. It's what should have happened 10 years ago, so let's get on it. As far as the Knife of Simpson indie band goes, we still will have to buy the 1989 Chevy SHit Bag getting 11 gallons to the mile. Not by choice. You'd better appreciate the fact that we're out here rocking. What the hell are you doing?
by at 12:49 AM
I can't fucking believe this...Ahmed Chalabi--the point man for our pre-war Iraqi intelligence and likely leader of post-Saddam Iraq--WAS WORKING WITH IRAN!!!!!!!!
We was robbed! The Players Got Played! We did to Iraq what Iran's sanguinary border war had failed to accomplish...topple Saddam Hussein, and leave Iraq's Shi'ite majority at the helm. And they did it without firing a single round, or losing the life of a single soldier.
If you'll recall, a major reason for the Iran/Iraq war was Hussein's repression of the Shia, who run the show in Iran. Any future government in Iraq will be dominated by the Shia...and Iran's long-time rival could become a proxy state...which is incredibly dangerous for our own proxy-client state, Israel. Oy vey!
Good going, Bush! Oh, the Ayatollah just called...he said, "thanks for doing business with us again!" What a bunch of incompetent jack-wipes. No wonder Colin Powell's aide was so intent on stopping that interview last weekend. They knew Chalabi's operation was rotten, and were hoping they could buy themselves some time by just not answering any questions about Chalabi's agent Curveball.
In the past, the White House had been able to control the debate by responding only to the questions they wanted the press to ask, and circumlocuting the rest. Now that the dam is spouting fresh leaks daily, they just can't spin the bad news fast enough.
That's it...this is treasonous! No two ways about it. We jeopardized our national security (again) and have completely squandered our international reputation. I can't see anybody supporting Boy Wonder's ass now, not even he own daddy! If this isn't grounds for impeachment and extradition to the Hague for war crimes already, this country is fucked beyond rehabilitation. I'm moving to Norway.
We was robbed! The Players Got Played! We did to Iraq what Iran's sanguinary border war had failed to accomplish...topple Saddam Hussein, and leave Iraq's Shi'ite majority at the helm. And they did it without firing a single round, or losing the life of a single soldier.
If you'll recall, a major reason for the Iran/Iraq war was Hussein's repression of the Shia, who run the show in Iran. Any future government in Iraq will be dominated by the Shia...and Iran's long-time rival could become a proxy state...which is incredibly dangerous for our own proxy-client state, Israel. Oy vey!
Good going, Bush! Oh, the Ayatollah just called...he said, "thanks for doing business with us again!" What a bunch of incompetent jack-wipes. No wonder Colin Powell's aide was so intent on stopping that interview last weekend. They knew Chalabi's operation was rotten, and were hoping they could buy themselves some time by just not answering any questions about Chalabi's agent Curveball.
In the past, the White House had been able to control the debate by responding only to the questions they wanted the press to ask, and circumlocuting the rest. Now that the dam is spouting fresh leaks daily, they just can't spin the bad news fast enough.
That's it...this is treasonous! No two ways about it. We jeopardized our national security (again) and have completely squandered our international reputation. I can't see anybody supporting Boy Wonder's ass now, not even he own daddy! If this isn't grounds for impeachment and extradition to the Hague for war crimes already, this country is fucked beyond rehabilitation. I'm moving to Norway.
by at 9:52 PM
OK, as a public (pubic) service announcement (WITH GUITARS!!) (oh wait, no one cares.) I want to let everyone who drives in Chicago to know this: PAY ATTENTION WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING!!! Please do this for me, as a favor. Please be aware, for I'm busy looking at tities. So, Mr. "I Own Property In Chicago," if you want to hold on to your investment, pay attention to the little fuel-efficent cars crowding in on your space. WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE.
by at 2:09 AM
It's been 4 days since the State of Massachussetts has allowed gay unions. I wonder, has New England's social tapestry been torn asunder yet? Has the Hand of Providence laid low the wicked and smitten the iniquitous in a cataclysmic ball of fire? Are there naked people butt-fucking in the streets of Boston and Provincetown? Cats and Dogs fornicating? A man and a bat, two monkeys and a horse living in sin? Ha!
From where I stand, another great chapter in American history is being written. Middle America isn't ready to accept gay marriage just yet, but I think this is why the US system is actually pretty good--it allows for incremental changes (state by state) that will someday, hopefully, be recognized by all. For all its hassles, headaches and inefficiency, the republican system does work, occasionally.
I'd like to give a Big Gay thumbs-up to the hundreds of lucky Massholes who got hitched this week! Cheers!
From where I stand, another great chapter in American history is being written. Middle America isn't ready to accept gay marriage just yet, but I think this is why the US system is actually pretty good--it allows for incremental changes (state by state) that will someday, hopefully, be recognized by all. For all its hassles, headaches and inefficiency, the republican system does work, occasionally.
I'd like to give a Big Gay thumbs-up to the hundreds of lucky Massholes who got hitched this week! Cheers!
by at 12:27 AM
Hey there! So, after many many weeks of having neither a phone or working computer, I'm back bitch! Those looking to get a hold of me (however few they may be, I have been kind of a dick lately) should email me at the knifeofsimpson@comcast.net and I'll get you the new phone #. Shit's been too fucked up to even think about lately, I will say that.
by at 4:39 PM
So our elaborate Terror Alert system is based on a Fucking Milton Bradley game?
Jesus fucking the passion of the Christ. Bush is playing Risk and Axis and Allies with Monopoly money as we Worry about Payday and try to survive the game of Life. Sorry isn't going to cut it anymore.
Give me a bucket.
by at 10:33 PM
Mr. Secretary...I don't think that's appropriate...
Wow...things must be getting pretty tense at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Take a look at the clip from Meet the Press this Sunday. CLIP It's Tim Russert interviewing Secretary of State Colon Powell (it looks like Powell's at the Amman Hilton, there's a hot tub right behind him), and it begins right where the transcript begins to veer off course.
When Russert begins asking him a very pointed question about "Agent Curveball" and the phony intel Powell gave to the UN back in February 03, somebody--Powell's aide?--apparently pushes the camera off Powell and begins telling him not to answer Tim's question!
"Emily, get away!" says an obviously frustrated Powell. Even Russert quit his toadying for a moment to admonish the Secretary of Hate for the lapse of order.
It seems to me that Powell is about to go off the reservation--big time--and I'm sure he's not the only one at the State Dept that feels that way. That aide DID NOT want him to answer that question!
by at 1:46 PM
Hey guys, remember when John F. Kennedy had to go in front of the nation and declare he wasn't going to be too Catholic as president? (Okay, I fully realize that most of you weren't even glints in the milkman's eyes at that point, but you know what I mean.) Now--thanks to the right-wing Kulturkampf raging in this country--people are complaining that politicians aren't Catholic enough--especially as regards their voting record on abortion and reproductive freedom. Story.
It's like the vicious TEST ACTS passed in Britain, but in reverse...suddenly, Papist Pols now have to be required to take a loyalty oath to the Church in order to receive the most important sacrement.
It's all a bunch of Holy Shit.
While the Church's position on abortion is quite clear, the Church is also against the use of warfare as an instrument of foreign policy (especially the illegal war against Iraq); those who take any kind of birth control; those who oppose social welfare and social justice; divorce; and the use of capital punishment. Jeez, if the American Bishops really wanted to insist on doctrinal purity, they'd have some pretty skimpy collection plates come Sunday services. Quite literally, they'd be preaching to the choir.
Bishop Sheridan is one to talk of "Cafeteria Catholicism" anyway... I think maybe he should work on cleaning up the Church's shameful sex scandals before insisting we march in lockstep behind any more men in skirts, don't you?
I think when religion begins to preach political advocacy instead of the gospel, it's time to revoke tax exempt status. Especially the Roman Catholic church, one of the wealthiest organizations in the world. If the RCC wants to enter politics again, more power to them...but they should have to be taxed the same way PACs and other businesses are. It's only fair--"Render Unto Caesar," and everything...
It's like the vicious TEST ACTS passed in Britain, but in reverse...suddenly, Papist Pols now have to be required to take a loyalty oath to the Church in order to receive the most important sacrement.
It's all a bunch of Holy Shit.
While the Church's position on abortion is quite clear, the Church is also against the use of warfare as an instrument of foreign policy (especially the illegal war against Iraq); those who take any kind of birth control; those who oppose social welfare and social justice; divorce; and the use of capital punishment. Jeez, if the American Bishops really wanted to insist on doctrinal purity, they'd have some pretty skimpy collection plates come Sunday services. Quite literally, they'd be preaching to the choir.
Bishop Sheridan is one to talk of "Cafeteria Catholicism" anyway... I think maybe he should work on cleaning up the Church's shameful sex scandals before insisting we march in lockstep behind any more men in skirts, don't you?
I think when religion begins to preach political advocacy instead of the gospel, it's time to revoke tax exempt status. Especially the Roman Catholic church, one of the wealthiest organizations in the world. If the RCC wants to enter politics again, more power to them...but they should have to be taxed the same way PACs and other businesses are. It's only fair--"Render Unto Caesar," and everything...
by at 10:31 AM
And now, on the lighter side...
Chicago's answer to Kent Brockman--WFLD-Channel 32's favorite irascible, sanctimonious, moralistic termagant Walter Jacobson--was buuuuusted in Lincoln Park over the weekend for a DUI. Sun-Times
Somebody should gently remind Walt that his job is to REPORT THE NEWS...not make it!
I am anxiously awaiting the mugshot on The Smoking Gun.
Chicago's answer to Kent Brockman--WFLD-Channel 32's favorite irascible, sanctimonious, moralistic termagant Walter Jacobson--was buuuuusted in Lincoln Park over the weekend for a DUI. Sun-Times
Somebody should gently remind Walt that his job is to REPORT THE NEWS...not make it!
I am anxiously awaiting the mugshot on The Smoking Gun.
by at 11:37 AM
if you think abu ghraib is an embarassment, believe it when i say the worst is yet to come!
see, john negroponte, currently the u.s. ambassador to the united nations, is well on his way to becoming the next diplomat to baghdad - and that spells trouble.
just look what he did while hanging out in honduras during the 1980s. he not only turned a blind eye to the attorcities the contras were responsible for, but he handed over millions of dough that ollie north gave him. and where did ollie get that money? from the mullahs in iran.
ah, the old iran/contra scam was brilliant in its visciousness and more amazing when you think about all the people who escaped the noose from that one, including william casey.
after ollie north portrayed himself as an american hero fighting the sandanistas, congress basically let everybody go, from george bush the elder to ed meese.
o.k. ollie! 269 dead marines in beruit, and you're an american hero. go screw!
anyway, negroponte didn't care where the money came from, as long as it was going to the "good guys," and i suspect we'll see the same bad behavior in iraq.
negroponte will make damn sure there is no photography in any iraqi prison camp, and make abu ghraib look like a tupperware party before he's through with the place.
see, john negroponte, currently the u.s. ambassador to the united nations, is well on his way to becoming the next diplomat to baghdad - and that spells trouble.
just look what he did while hanging out in honduras during the 1980s. he not only turned a blind eye to the attorcities the contras were responsible for, but he handed over millions of dough that ollie north gave him. and where did ollie get that money? from the mullahs in iran.
ah, the old iran/contra scam was brilliant in its visciousness and more amazing when you think about all the people who escaped the noose from that one, including william casey.
after ollie north portrayed himself as an american hero fighting the sandanistas, congress basically let everybody go, from george bush the elder to ed meese.
o.k. ollie! 269 dead marines in beruit, and you're an american hero. go screw!
anyway, negroponte didn't care where the money came from, as long as it was going to the "good guys," and i suspect we'll see the same bad behavior in iraq.
negroponte will make damn sure there is no photography in any iraqi prison camp, and make abu ghraib look like a tupperware party before he's through with the place.
by at 4:52 PM
This just in--Bush "apologizes" for Abu Ghriab.
President Bush said in the first of two interviews with Arab satellite television stations today that mistreatment of Iraqis at a Baghdad prison by members of the American military was "abhorrent," but that he wanted the people of Iraq to know that it did not represent "the America that I know."
Bullshit, Bush, you were governor of Texas! You know the Texas corrections system! It's every bit "the America you know!!!"
This non-apology apology such a stupid idea...after living under a Stalinesque dictator for decades, I'd think the Iraqis know what government propaganda sounds and smells like. Especially since Bush is airing this address on a Pentagon-owned Iraqi media outlet. Jeez, even the Russians knew that Pravda's political reportage was a bunch of garbage! The departments of journalism have become nothing more than organs of Ad Departments and PR adjuncts in the US of A, and we're bring our peculiar brand of "press freedom" Iraq...once again proving that there is freedom of the press to those who own a press. (The Harris Corporation, by the way, is the same company that colluded with Florida, Jeb Bush and the Florida SoS to scrub Democrats off the voting rolls. God Bless Amurkah.)
"They hate us for our freedom"...it's true. Americans can't tell the difference between propaganda and journalism anymore, and they just don't care. This is the freedom we care most about--apathy--and we reserve the right to indulge this luxury 24/7/365. Any attempt to interfere in our "Manifest Density" is a matter of national security...we reserve the right carpet bomb into oblivion any nation that dares disturb America's egg-like self-sufficiency...'specialy these ungrateful Eye-rakkies. WE GAVE THEM FREEDOM, DAMN IT!!! Guess we gotta kill 'em since they don't 'ppreciate it.
Were Bush to truly apologize, it would mean owning up to a fault or mistakes, and asking for forgiveness. Giving us assurances Jesus has pro-rated your confession is no substitute. After the last time Dubya went off-script it's pretty apparent the man is incapable of expressing anything even resembling sincerity or empathy...which, of course, will piss the rest of the world off even more! "Arab people gotta unnerstand" isn't going to cut it!
He loves to play commander-in-chief and General, and play with his green plastic army men. It must be fun to play dress-up like Mussolini did and strut about in a uniform you never earned. But when your splendid little war turns into a disaster beyond imagination, it's suddenly somebody else's fault.
I have no doubt the soldiers responsible for the atrocities at Abu-Ghriab will be punished, but this crime goes all the way to the top. They knew this shit was going on since at least November 2003, and they even encouraged it. They imported General Miller from Guantanamo to evaluate Abu Ghriab, who basically recommended these torture tactics...like employing private contractors who may be immune to both military courts martial and provisions of the Geneva Convention. To top it all off, the White House told CBS to hold off on their report until we "took care" of Fallujah.
They read the reports, they knew it was all going down...and yet they "had no idea." Bush is "shocked." Well, don't get upset at me for calling bullshit on this one.
I'm sure we'll "get to the bottom" of this, just like we did with the 9-11 committee hearings, the Valerie Plame investigation, the anthrax mailings investigation, and who attended Evil Dick's Energy Policy meetings.
How long can we tolerate the smell of shit before we clean out the catbox?
President Bush said in the first of two interviews with Arab satellite television stations today that mistreatment of Iraqis at a Baghdad prison by members of the American military was "abhorrent," but that he wanted the people of Iraq to know that it did not represent "the America that I know."
Bullshit, Bush, you were governor of Texas! You know the Texas corrections system! It's every bit "the America you know!!!"
This non-apology apology such a stupid idea...after living under a Stalinesque dictator for decades, I'd think the Iraqis know what government propaganda sounds and smells like. Especially since Bush is airing this address on a Pentagon-owned Iraqi media outlet. Jeez, even the Russians knew that Pravda's political reportage was a bunch of garbage! The departments of journalism have become nothing more than organs of Ad Departments and PR adjuncts in the US of A, and we're bring our peculiar brand of "press freedom" Iraq...once again proving that there is freedom of the press to those who own a press. (The Harris Corporation, by the way, is the same company that colluded with Florida, Jeb Bush and the Florida SoS to scrub Democrats off the voting rolls. God Bless Amurkah.)
"They hate us for our freedom"...it's true. Americans can't tell the difference between propaganda and journalism anymore, and they just don't care. This is the freedom we care most about--apathy--and we reserve the right to indulge this luxury 24/7/365. Any attempt to interfere in our "Manifest Density" is a matter of national security...we reserve the right carpet bomb into oblivion any nation that dares disturb America's egg-like self-sufficiency...'specialy these ungrateful Eye-rakkies. WE GAVE THEM FREEDOM, DAMN IT!!! Guess we gotta kill 'em since they don't 'ppreciate it.
Were Bush to truly apologize, it would mean owning up to a fault or mistakes, and asking for forgiveness. Giving us assurances Jesus has pro-rated your confession is no substitute. After the last time Dubya went off-script it's pretty apparent the man is incapable of expressing anything even resembling sincerity or empathy...which, of course, will piss the rest of the world off even more! "Arab people gotta unnerstand" isn't going to cut it!
He loves to play commander-in-chief and General, and play with his green plastic army men. It must be fun to play dress-up like Mussolini did and strut about in a uniform you never earned. But when your splendid little war turns into a disaster beyond imagination, it's suddenly somebody else's fault.
I have no doubt the soldiers responsible for the atrocities at Abu-Ghriab will be punished, but this crime goes all the way to the top. They knew this shit was going on since at least November 2003, and they even encouraged it. They imported General Miller from Guantanamo to evaluate Abu Ghriab, who basically recommended these torture tactics...like employing private contractors who may be immune to both military courts martial and provisions of the Geneva Convention. To top it all off, the White House told CBS to hold off on their report until we "took care" of Fallujah.
They read the reports, they knew it was all going down...and yet they "had no idea." Bush is "shocked." Well, don't get upset at me for calling bullshit on this one.
I'm sure we'll "get to the bottom" of this, just like we did with the 9-11 committee hearings, the Valerie Plame investigation, the anthrax mailings investigation, and who attended Evil Dick's Energy Policy meetings.
How long can we tolerate the smell of shit before we clean out the catbox?
by at 11:28 AM