It is with great sadness that I report the passing of the great Sam Phillips, founder of the legendary Sun Studios, and the man responsible for bringing rock and roll to the notice of the entire world.
Oh, yeah, and starting the career of the guy who starred in Clambake.
Oh, yeah, and starting the career of the guy who starred in Clambake.
by at 12:29 AM
why is adm. john poindexter (ret.) a free man, let alone allowed to work in the pentagon?
poindexter has been caught with another crackpot scheme in his cushy job. this time, a way to raise money for darpa by speculating terrorists attacks, assassinations and other dubious acts via the internet.
here's how it was supposed to work. you could place an anonymous bet on, let's say for example, when prince saud might take a bullet in the noodle, just like you might speculate on pork belly futures.
this truly disgusting system was scheduled to be up and running by oct. 1, if it weren't for the watchful eyes of sen. ron wyden (d-ore.) and sen. byron dorgan (d-n.d.). nice work boys!
paul wolfowitz merely called the idea "too imaginative" at a senate hearing yesterday. i call it insanity.
poindexter should be locked up for a couple reasons. no.1, for his role in iran-contra while he was ronald reagan's security advisor. he ought to be locked in a looney bin for this idea and, of course, his fascist concept of the office of total information awareness, which was also shot down...luckily.
firing poindexter is a no-brainer. why he was hired in the first place is true mystery.
poindexter has been caught with another crackpot scheme in his cushy job. this time, a way to raise money for darpa by speculating terrorists attacks, assassinations and other dubious acts via the internet.
here's how it was supposed to work. you could place an anonymous bet on, let's say for example, when prince saud might take a bullet in the noodle, just like you might speculate on pork belly futures.
this truly disgusting system was scheduled to be up and running by oct. 1, if it weren't for the watchful eyes of sen. ron wyden (d-ore.) and sen. byron dorgan (d-n.d.). nice work boys!
paul wolfowitz merely called the idea "too imaginative" at a senate hearing yesterday. i call it insanity.
poindexter should be locked up for a couple reasons. no.1, for his role in iran-contra while he was ronald reagan's security advisor. he ought to be locked in a looney bin for this idea and, of course, his fascist concept of the office of total information awareness, which was also shot down...luckily.
firing poindexter is a no-brainer. why he was hired in the first place is true mystery.
by at 4:24 PM
Well, another August is upon us, and once again it's time for our fearless leader to take a *cough cough* well-deserved, month-long vacation at his pig farm in Texas.
I'm scared.
Who knows what fresh hell they'll be cooking up at the Crooked W Ranch in Crawford this summer? While Dubby mugs for the cameras and clears brush with an obsequious press corp in tow, Cheney and Rumsfeld sip mai tais with Osama, Saddam and Kenneth Lay by the poolside and plan another distraction to keep the American peasantry from storming the Bastille. We got the 9/11 attacks after Bush ducked his plummeting approval ratings at the dirt farm in summer '01; he rolled out the Iraq Attaq after a month of planning in August 2002; What'll it be for 2003?
Yep, right on schedule! Just as le petit buisson hightails it out of DC to duck accountability for his lies about Iraq/Enron/9-11/everything else up to this point, we get a fresh batch of terror warnings about the possibility of more 9/11-style hijackings (quick, somebody wake up Coni Rice and tell her this time!). But Bush has just pulled air marshals from key flights! And technically we're still at a "Lemon Yellow Sun" level of Terruh Alertness, so the hell with it! I'm gonna get me a taco and a tab. Rusty, you in?
Just how is this shit making us safer than we were exactly two years ago, Mr. Bush? Or is the "us" referring to your petrochem friends who want to carve up the entire middle east like a cornish hen?
Place your bets!
I'm scared.
Who knows what fresh hell they'll be cooking up at the Crooked W Ranch in Crawford this summer? While Dubby mugs for the cameras and clears brush with an obsequious press corp in tow, Cheney and Rumsfeld sip mai tais with Osama, Saddam and Kenneth Lay by the poolside and plan another distraction to keep the American peasantry from storming the Bastille. We got the 9/11 attacks after Bush ducked his plummeting approval ratings at the dirt farm in summer '01; he rolled out the Iraq Attaq after a month of planning in August 2002; What'll it be for 2003?
Yep, right on schedule! Just as le petit buisson hightails it out of DC to duck accountability for his lies about Iraq/Enron/9-11/everything else up to this point, we get a fresh batch of terror warnings about the possibility of more 9/11-style hijackings (quick, somebody wake up Coni Rice and tell her this time!). But Bush has just pulled air marshals from key flights! And technically we're still at a "Lemon Yellow Sun" level of Terruh Alertness, so the hell with it! I'm gonna get me a taco and a tab. Rusty, you in?
Just how is this shit making us safer than we were exactly two years ago, Mr. Bush? Or is the "us" referring to your petrochem friends who want to carve up the entire middle east like a cornish hen?
Place your bets!
by at 11:17 AM
Howdy folks, it's your pal, Norman Conquest, bloggin' from an undisclosed location. I don't know about youze, but I was getting tired of the old frontpage...it was very dark, oppressive, and unfeeling: so cold. So I completely shitcanned it and replaced it with what you see here. Neat, huh? I think it's easier to read. I've made a few other changes too: the links section has been at least cursorily updated, and the archive page index has been fixed. I have some more goodies to roll out in the days ahead, so make sure to drop by.
Jeebus, that wang-stater Fred Durst is a whiny punk-assed bitch--pass the tissues, Tito! What were you honestly expecting, a hero's welcome? You haven't released an album in what, three years now? The kids ain't stupid, Fred. Remember the disastrous Bizkit guitarist audition scam you perpetrated with Guitar Center last year? You showed the world you're a conniving opportunist, not a musician. I mean, come on, we're all like that anyway, but at least TRY to bullshit like you care about your fans & aren't attempting the Great Rock and Roll Swindle (Slight Return).
I'd expect a reaction like this for Metallica--they've fallen a lot farther in the last ten years. At least LB is supposed to be awful.
Jeebus, that wang-stater Fred Durst is a whiny punk-assed bitch--pass the tissues, Tito! What were you honestly expecting, a hero's welcome? You haven't released an album in what, three years now? The kids ain't stupid, Fred. Remember the disastrous Bizkit guitarist audition scam you perpetrated with Guitar Center last year? You showed the world you're a conniving opportunist, not a musician. I mean, come on, we're all like that anyway, but at least TRY to bullshit like you care about your fans & aren't attempting the Great Rock and Roll Swindle (Slight Return).
I'd expect a reaction like this for Metallica--they've fallen a lot farther in the last ten years. At least LB is supposed to be awful.
by at 2:58 PM
Check out Dubya desecrating the flag!!!
What an ass!!!
What an ass!!!
by at 2:19 PM
an interesting report came out the other day about the future of our elections. it's some heavy reading, but well worth it.
i've heard bits and pieces about this diebold election systems, which is developing electronic, computerized voting machines, which are required, by law, to be installed by the '04 elections. according to this report, the security is very lax, and could actually have been designed to fix elections. shocking!
other problems with this system include the fact that voters do not get a paper copy of their votes. diebold claims this would increase the likelihood of more malfunctionsm - or one more part that could break.
but diebold got its start building atms and those new self-checkout counters you see at the grocery store. both spit out receipt after receipt, day after day without much problem, so they've got no excuse.
so if there's no paper receipt for your vote, you really have no idea what registered in the computer. and if a recount is needed, what the hell are you going to count?
anyway, this was all part of the sweeping legislation passed in 2001 after the florida disaster. i think they called it help america vote act, or something like that. well, it should be repealed and quickly, because '04 is right around the corner.
but screw it. even if they do repeal it, and go back to the old machines, somebody will still figure out a way to stuff some boxes. democracy in america is dead.
anyone need a tab?
i've heard bits and pieces about this diebold election systems, which is developing electronic, computerized voting machines, which are required, by law, to be installed by the '04 elections. according to this report, the security is very lax, and could actually have been designed to fix elections. shocking!
other problems with this system include the fact that voters do not get a paper copy of their votes. diebold claims this would increase the likelihood of more malfunctionsm - or one more part that could break.
but diebold got its start building atms and those new self-checkout counters you see at the grocery store. both spit out receipt after receipt, day after day without much problem, so they've got no excuse.
so if there's no paper receipt for your vote, you really have no idea what registered in the computer. and if a recount is needed, what the hell are you going to count?
anyway, this was all part of the sweeping legislation passed in 2001 after the florida disaster. i think they called it help america vote act, or something like that. well, it should be repealed and quickly, because '04 is right around the corner.
but screw it. even if they do repeal it, and go back to the old machines, somebody will still figure out a way to stuff some boxes. democracy in america is dead.
anyone need a tab?
by at 5:42 PM
GET HIM OUT...NOW!!!!!
by at 4:43 PM
Wow, the diarrhea is really starting to hit the fan. Look out!
Bush can't deny his mendacity on Iraq any longer. The entire justification for OPERATION: DESERT CLUSTERFUCK was based on a bundle of outright lies, and now a formerly catatonic American press is finally starting to ask some hard questions (what they should have been doing in the FIRST PLACE...) Condi Rice this morning tried her best to pin the whole mess on George Tenet, but I don't think the White House's threadbare strategy of ABCDEF--Always Blame Clinton and Democrats for Every FUBAR--is going to work this time. The CIA warned Britain in September 2002 that the Niger uranium story was bogus...yet this "fact" showed up in Bush's State of the Union speech months later.
Now come on, Condi...why would the CIA go to the trouble of warning Blair, and not make their doubts manifest to Bush? You ought to know better than to pass the buck like that. Dick Cheney even dispatched an intel agent to independently investigate the Niger uranium story--do you expect us to believe THAT communication didn't reach the executive office suites at 1600 Pennsylvania?
Your defenses are starting to resemble those of a dissembling eighth grader who would rather make up bullshit sources for a term paper than actually admit being caught in a lie. Witness this ham-handed sophistry: as long as we refer to a British report that contains the assertion, we are technically correct. Um, doofus, it was the same report you gave to the Brits earlier...and it's STILL BOGUS.
You know, students are punished all the time for intellectual chicanery like this--yet you want us to give you yet another benefit of the doubt. Your lies have resulted in the loss of life of American soldiers and Iraqi civillians...and your only defense is tantamount to "the dog ate my homework?"
I want to ask you just one question, Mr. President: When will you stop passing the buck? You have a lot of angry Americans that are looking for answers. You've been running from responsibility your entire life--now would be a good time to take a stand, General George. Before more American soldiers lose their lives. As long as you're slashing veterans' benefits, you should at the very least see to it that no more lose their lives in Iraq.
Your job depends on it!
Bush can't deny his mendacity on Iraq any longer. The entire justification for OPERATION: DESERT CLUSTERFUCK was based on a bundle of outright lies, and now a formerly catatonic American press is finally starting to ask some hard questions (what they should have been doing in the FIRST PLACE...) Condi Rice this morning tried her best to pin the whole mess on George Tenet, but I don't think the White House's threadbare strategy of ABCDEF--Always Blame Clinton and Democrats for Every FUBAR--is going to work this time. The CIA warned Britain in September 2002 that the Niger uranium story was bogus...yet this "fact" showed up in Bush's State of the Union speech months later.
Now come on, Condi...why would the CIA go to the trouble of warning Blair, and not make their doubts manifest to Bush? You ought to know better than to pass the buck like that. Dick Cheney even dispatched an intel agent to independently investigate the Niger uranium story--do you expect us to believe THAT communication didn't reach the executive office suites at 1600 Pennsylvania?
Your defenses are starting to resemble those of a dissembling eighth grader who would rather make up bullshit sources for a term paper than actually admit being caught in a lie. Witness this ham-handed sophistry: as long as we refer to a British report that contains the assertion, we are technically correct. Um, doofus, it was the same report you gave to the Brits earlier...and it's STILL BOGUS.
You know, students are punished all the time for intellectual chicanery like this--yet you want us to give you yet another benefit of the doubt. Your lies have resulted in the loss of life of American soldiers and Iraqi civillians...and your only defense is tantamount to "the dog ate my homework?"
I want to ask you just one question, Mr. President: When will you stop passing the buck? You have a lot of angry Americans that are looking for answers. You've been running from responsibility your entire life--now would be a good time to take a stand, General George. Before more American soldiers lose their lives. As long as you're slashing veterans' benefits, you should at the very least see to it that no more lose their lives in Iraq.
Your job depends on it!
by at 11:35 AM
w. bush is on the move, touring africa and promising to give money to fight aids in south africa. what a noble man, putting the compassion in his "compassionate conservatism."
there hasn't been much said about what the $15 billion he's promising will buy, but he has indicated a lot will got toward helping impovrished nations buy antiretroviral drugs to prolongs the lives of aids sufferers.
president thabo mbeki of s. africa seems skepitcal, and i don't blame him. who knows what the long-term effects of this drug use will cause. i mean, we're already seeing evolution excellerated in bacteria with the overuse of antibiotics and other household anti-bacterial products. why can't we see a stronger, more potent aids virus if many more people start using the antiretroviral drugs?
but mbeki is a nut (he claims hiv doesn't cause aids and other junk like that).
still, this proposal strikes me as fishy. sure bush has promisd to include preventative measures in his anti-aids care package, but it sounds like it wil be a small prortion of that dough.
no, this sounds like a $15 billion kick-back to the pharmaceutical industry to me. plus, bush is able to make a feeble attempt to gain a few more black votes in the process, as if he needs, or really wants, them. besides who's going to argue against giving money to fight aids? it's shoe-in vote in congress and a political win for him.
i can tell you one thing, though - none of that money will be used to ship condoms to africa.
there hasn't been much said about what the $15 billion he's promising will buy, but he has indicated a lot will got toward helping impovrished nations buy antiretroviral drugs to prolongs the lives of aids sufferers.
president thabo mbeki of s. africa seems skepitcal, and i don't blame him. who knows what the long-term effects of this drug use will cause. i mean, we're already seeing evolution excellerated in bacteria with the overuse of antibiotics and other household anti-bacterial products. why can't we see a stronger, more potent aids virus if many more people start using the antiretroviral drugs?
but mbeki is a nut (he claims hiv doesn't cause aids and other junk like that).
still, this proposal strikes me as fishy. sure bush has promisd to include preventative measures in his anti-aids care package, but it sounds like it wil be a small prortion of that dough.
no, this sounds like a $15 billion kick-back to the pharmaceutical industry to me. plus, bush is able to make a feeble attempt to gain a few more black votes in the process, as if he needs, or really wants, them. besides who's going to argue against giving money to fight aids? it's shoe-in vote in congress and a political win for him.
i can tell you one thing, though - none of that money will be used to ship condoms to africa.
by at 6:50 PM
I was listening to the radio yesterday and tuned in to NPR just in time to hear National Insecurity Deviser Condi Rice blabbering Saddam Hussein's "Appetite for Weapons of Mass Destruction." Ha ha, I didn't know Ms. Rice was so good at improv. Good one, Condi.
Don't worry though--you're still going to hell.
Don't worry though--you're still going to hell.
by at 8:55 AM
Dulce bellum inexpertis--(Lat.) "War is sweet to those who know not of it."
Just when I thought I couldn't despise our brain-damaged, septum-deviated president any more, he does something new to surprise me.
This afternoon, Unelected Son of an Asshole Bush invited further attacks on our armed forces in Iraq in his usual blowhard fashion.
"Bring them on." What a stupid fuck. More embarrassing bluster from a guy who has never fought any of his own battles in life. So what if you have a narcotics arrest--ask Daddy to lean on the judge, and the whole mess will disappear without a trace. Who cares if you deserted the National Guard? Just have Daddy call family consiligere James Baker--he'll go down to Alabama and scrub your military record cleaner than a Scottish pay toilet. Whatever happened to the "Responsibility Era," George? What about your campaign pledge (among many others) not to engage in nation building? How about having an exit strategy for US troop deployments abroad? Depends on what the definition of "building" is, hmm?
Now we have a dangerous megalomaniacal psychopath as president who has no qualms about using the Army as his own private security force. At least he isn't guilty of lying under oath about having sex, right?
I don't know if you're up on current events, Dubya, but the IRAQI PEOPLE are the ones KILLING OUR SOLDIERS right now--yeah, the ones we just "liberated"--not a bunch of nebulous "Saddam Loyalists," as your White House/Pentagon flacks call them. Yeah, it was great that you secured the oil wells and pipelines and everything first, but what about the nuke sites and waste dumps...and what about all those weapons that were such a great danger to Western Civilization that we had to invade RIGHT THIS FUCKING MINUTE???? WHERE ARE THEY??? Now that who-knows-who has plundered who-knows-what from those hot sites and the entire middle east on the verge of a gigantic socio/political conflagration, can you honestly say that we are safer now that you have (ahem) rid the world of Saddam Hussein? Oh, yeah, I almost forgot: WHERE THE FUCK IS HE???? DO YOU KNOW--DO YOU EVEN CARE??????
Fuck you in the face Bush. That goes for you, too, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Powell--all you crooked fascist pigs who have sacrificed our citizens to Moloch and Mammon to slake your endless greed and opportunism. If there's any justice in this world I hope you will be sharing the dock at the ICC in the Hague with Kissinger and Pinochet.
Just when I thought I couldn't despise our brain-damaged, septum-deviated president any more, he does something new to surprise me.
This afternoon, Unelected Son of an Asshole Bush invited further attacks on our armed forces in Iraq in his usual blowhard fashion.
"Bring them on." What a stupid fuck. More embarrassing bluster from a guy who has never fought any of his own battles in life. So what if you have a narcotics arrest--ask Daddy to lean on the judge, and the whole mess will disappear without a trace. Who cares if you deserted the National Guard? Just have Daddy call family consiligere James Baker--he'll go down to Alabama and scrub your military record cleaner than a Scottish pay toilet. Whatever happened to the "Responsibility Era," George? What about your campaign pledge (among many others) not to engage in nation building? How about having an exit strategy for US troop deployments abroad? Depends on what the definition of "building" is, hmm?
Now we have a dangerous megalomaniacal psychopath as president who has no qualms about using the Army as his own private security force. At least he isn't guilty of lying under oath about having sex, right?
I don't know if you're up on current events, Dubya, but the IRAQI PEOPLE are the ones KILLING OUR SOLDIERS right now--yeah, the ones we just "liberated"--not a bunch of nebulous "Saddam Loyalists," as your White House/Pentagon flacks call them. Yeah, it was great that you secured the oil wells and pipelines and everything first, but what about the nuke sites and waste dumps...and what about all those weapons that were such a great danger to Western Civilization that we had to invade RIGHT THIS FUCKING MINUTE???? WHERE ARE THEY??? Now that who-knows-who has plundered who-knows-what from those hot sites and the entire middle east on the verge of a gigantic socio/political conflagration, can you honestly say that we are safer now that you have (ahem) rid the world of Saddam Hussein? Oh, yeah, I almost forgot: WHERE THE FUCK IS HE???? DO YOU KNOW--DO YOU EVEN CARE??????
Fuck you in the face Bush. That goes for you, too, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Powell--all you crooked fascist pigs who have sacrificed our citizens to Moloch and Mammon to slake your endless greed and opportunism. If there's any justice in this world I hope you will be sharing the dock at the ICC in the Hague with Kissinger and Pinochet.
by at 2:43 PM
I'd like to take a moment and thank everyone for coming out to our recent shows at Quenchers & the Double Door. Hope you had as much fun as we did. Much thanks to Bloodcow, Francois Dillinger, Last Vegas, Gaza Strippers, Cherry Valence, and Nashville Pussy for being such great people and for kicking delirious ass on-stage. Can't wait to play with all of you again! I'd also like to thank the sponsors of Mulletfest, especially the Onion & the Double Door, for doing such a great job in promotion & then following through with a genuinely memorable hootenany. A doff of the hat to y'all.
And can I just say Cherry Valence? Okay, then, Cherry Valence. Hands down, my favorite live act in the country. They ain't scared of nuthin'. Two uber-talented drummers & guitarists & a bass player to knock yer rump-shakin' booty in the dirt, none of 'em afraid to belt out a ditty or twelve. Yowza.
And can I just say Cherry Valence? Okay, then, Cherry Valence. Hands down, my favorite live act in the country. They ain't scared of nuthin'. Two uber-talented drummers & guitarists & a bass player to knock yer rump-shakin' booty in the dirt, none of 'em afraid to belt out a ditty or twelve. Yowza.
by at 1:58 PM