Greetings from... where the fuck are we now? Oh yeah, Savannah, Georgia. It's all a bit of a blur at the moment-- we've been sitting & imbibing at a local pub all afternoon-- but we're seven dates into the tour and all I can say is so far so good... at least from what I can remember. Akron, OH, was crucial; Freezeburg, PA, was anal-ripping; Richmond, VA, left much to be desired; Chapel Hill, NC, was a shit-stomping hootenany (Leadfoot!!!!!); Willmington, NC, was phun & marked by bad behavior; Charleston, SC, dinna happen but it was probably for the better. And tonight we kick Savannah in the nutz. Much thanks to everyone who came out to see us, and significant thanks to those dangerous enough to put us up for the evening. Hope everyone out there is feeling raw and keeping the flame strong. We have no idea what's going on in the world so maybe y'all can keep us abreast of the latest newz & gossip.
by at 5:53 PM
...and yet ANOTHER resignation today: Interior Secretary Christine Todd Whitman, who--unlike the lovable, hairless, sexless PressGnome Ari FlyShite--was the second coming of James Watt, and pretty much the embodiment of pure evil. I wonder if she'll ride off into a clear-cut sunset in a Stretch Navigator.
The recent tumult in the executive branch gives me an idea. Everyone's seen those ubiquitous "Iraqi Regime" deck of playing cards with each Ba'ath Party bigwig/shitkicker assigned a certain value. Somebody should put together a deck of Bush administration playing cards, just so we can keep track of them as they fall. It's debatable who would be the Ace of Spades--Chief Justice Rehnquist, Dick Cheney, Richard Perle, Paul Wolfowitz, Donald Rumsfeld--there are so many Èminence grises who are contenders. Just don't forget the Joker--GWB.
Who shall we nominate to take Whitman's place? I'm voting for PimpBot 5000. Any takers?
The recent tumult in the executive branch gives me an idea. Everyone's seen those ubiquitous "Iraqi Regime" deck of playing cards with each Ba'ath Party bigwig/shitkicker assigned a certain value. Somebody should put together a deck of Bush administration playing cards, just so we can keep track of them as they fall. It's debatable who would be the Ace of Spades--Chief Justice Rehnquist, Dick Cheney, Richard Perle, Paul Wolfowitz, Donald Rumsfeld--there are so many Èminence grises who are contenders. Just don't forget the Joker--GWB.
Who shall we nominate to take Whitman's place? I'm voting for PimpBot 5000. Any takers?
by at 9:54 AM
Wow--just announced on CNN--White House doubleSpokesperson "Blind" Ari Felcher is resigning his post this summer. Hmm. Exactly how many have "resigned" from this administration so far? I can think of advisor Karen Hughes, Army Sec. Thomas White and Treasury Sec. John O'Neill off the top of my head. Anybody have a firm number?
I'm sure resignation is a much more palatable career move right now than investigation, indictment, and conviction. Stay tuned!
I'm sure resignation is a much more palatable career move right now than investigation, indictment, and conviction. Stay tuned!
by at 8:24 AM
way back in 1977 jimmy carter was in charge and the eagles released what was
to be their last studio album, "the long run."
fastforward 26 years later and jimmy carter is a nobel prize winner and the
eagles' "the long run" is their second-to-last studio album.
yes, the eagles are mercilessly ramming another album down our throats. i
always thought the eagles was one of the most overrated bands in the history
of rock'n'roll. i think their songs are trite, boring and poorly written.
i heard the new eagles single called "hole in the world." unfortunately,
it's not a science fiction song. it's aggressively lazy, even by eagles
standards.
it starts with the chorus that goes something like this (if memory serves me
correctly)
there's a hole in the world tonight
there's a hole in the world tonight
let's make sure
there isn't a hole in the world tomorrow
then there's a verse, chorus and a second verse, chorus, a third verse that
only sounds different (thanks to studio trickery) which, by chance, has the
same lyrics as the second verse. then the band rides out the chorus. there
is no bridge in the song at all.
eagles fans, if you've been waiting 26 years for new material, you should be
not only disappointed, but downright angry. there is no other way to
describe the song other than insulting.
hey eagles! we all know you're fat, rich and lazy. you proved that 30 years
ago. why not give your fans something else to listen to, or at least write
some songs before you go into the studio.
that's why you guys get this week's fuck you in the face award!
to be their last studio album, "the long run."
fastforward 26 years later and jimmy carter is a nobel prize winner and the
eagles' "the long run" is their second-to-last studio album.
yes, the eagles are mercilessly ramming another album down our throats. i
always thought the eagles was one of the most overrated bands in the history
of rock'n'roll. i think their songs are trite, boring and poorly written.
i heard the new eagles single called "hole in the world." unfortunately,
it's not a science fiction song. it's aggressively lazy, even by eagles
standards.
it starts with the chorus that goes something like this (if memory serves me
correctly)
there's a hole in the world tonight
there's a hole in the world tonight
let's make sure
there isn't a hole in the world tomorrow
then there's a verse, chorus and a second verse, chorus, a third verse that
only sounds different (thanks to studio trickery) which, by chance, has the
same lyrics as the second verse. then the band rides out the chorus. there
is no bridge in the song at all.
eagles fans, if you've been waiting 26 years for new material, you should be
not only disappointed, but downright angry. there is no other way to
describe the song other than insulting.
hey eagles! we all know you're fat, rich and lazy. you proved that 30 years
ago. why not give your fans something else to listen to, or at least write
some songs before you go into the studio.
that's why you guys get this week's fuck you in the face award!
by at 3:37 PM
The new Knife of Simpson CDs are in...and they are a snazzy piece of Chicago cutlery, I must say! I would like to thank myself for a fantastic (and cheap) CD label, and me again for a harmonious Tshirt design, which team KoS will be guerrilla-manufacturing this weekend in our deluxx practice space cum sweatshop. Thanks to everybody who helped make this CD come together.
To all the nonbelievers/antirock elitists/TCJAs in Fudgepakistan, IL who got in our way and were generally a drag to be around...SUKK IT! Die. Nobody will miss you. Thanks for nothing.
To all the nonbelievers/antirock elitists/TCJAs in Fudgepakistan, IL who got in our way and were generally a drag to be around...SUKK IT! Die. Nobody will miss you. Thanks for nothing.
by at 2:29 PM
my dad once told me, "all of life's lessons can be learned through handicapping," and to a certain extent, i think he's right.
there are no guarantees when betting on the horses. just like in life, you look at what you know and make your best guess. and if luck is with you, you can come ahead big time.
but that's what makes horse racing so much fun...you never know what will happen; especially in the kentucky derby. none of these horses havce raced a mile and a quarter, and who knows how they will run.
i am not putting my money on empire maker, the heavy favorite. i don't think his bad foot will carry him far enough to win. besides, bobby frankel can always find a way to lose the derby. and with a 20-year-old jockey who has never raced the kentucky derby riding him, i think empire maker will have a tough time winning.
it should be a good race, and it's one i'm looking forward to.
here's you exacta for tomorrow: the 17 horse scrimshaw followed by peace rules.
good luck!
there are no guarantees when betting on the horses. just like in life, you look at what you know and make your best guess. and if luck is with you, you can come ahead big time.
but that's what makes horse racing so much fun...you never know what will happen; especially in the kentucky derby. none of these horses havce raced a mile and a quarter, and who knows how they will run.
i am not putting my money on empire maker, the heavy favorite. i don't think his bad foot will carry him far enough to win. besides, bobby frankel can always find a way to lose the derby. and with a 20-year-old jockey who has never raced the kentucky derby riding him, i think empire maker will have a tough time winning.
it should be a good race, and it's one i'm looking forward to.
here's you exacta for tomorrow: the 17 horse scrimshaw followed by peace rules.
good luck!
by at 9:52 AM