So White Hollywood has decided to make a biopic about Muhammad Ali, huh? And they've casted White America's third favorite Negro-- behind Colin Powell and Tiger Woods-- in the lead, eh? And they expect everyone to blindly ride the hype machine right into the local multiplex and plunk down their hard-earned money to watch this bilge?
Do yerself a favor and stand towards the direction of Hollywood and flash them two proud middle fingers.
It's outrageous to consider, even for a moment, Will Smith portraying Muhammad Ali. Mr. Smith cannot hold Mr. Ali's luggage. Unfortunately, many people who never grew up on the real thing will now equate the Fresh Prince with the Champ. Same shit happened almost decade ago with Denzel Washington and Malcolm X. Speaking of which, guess who the studio execs selected to play Malcolm X and Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.? No other than Mr. "New Jack City" Mario van Peebles and Mr. "Reading Rainbow" Levar Burton, respectively. This sincerely reeks of Wonder bread test-marketing. None of these actors resemble the great men they were hired to portray. So why these chumps? Why not hire Yaphet Koto as MLK and Jackie Chan as Muhammad Ali? Why not hire Brad Pitt to play Joe Frazier? Besides the obvious reasons, it's because Hollywood is much more concerned with profit margins and the garnering of undue prestige than they are with maintaining the public consciousness of the personalities they are appropriating. I have too much respect for the legacies of Malcolm and Muhammad and MLK to even think about going to see this insipid waste of celluloid. No doubt the film will gloss over the racial, ethnic, and social strife that nearly crippled this nation in the 1960s; put a happy spin on it all and send the audience home more lightheaded and ignorant than when they came in.
Hollywood-- or some smaller production entity on their behalf-- should revert to the procedure assumed in the early-mid 1900s: when creating a biopic, hire the actual personalities to portray themselves, regardless their acting capabilities. Babe Ruth did it. Jackie Robinson did it. Joe Louis did it. An Ali biopic should already have been produced when he lost embarassingly to Trevor Berbick in 1981. Plain and simple. This new and certainly not improved "Ali" is inexcusable.
But then again, do we really want much less need Hollywood trampling and maligning history any more than they already have? Millions of people were deeply influenced by the paranoid spook-theories of Oliver Stone's "JFK". Millions of people-- as scary as this may seem but it is very true, based upon the observations of several esteemed history professors-- believe that Forrest Gump met and knew Elvis Presley and LBJ and all those wondrous things that he did. Perhaps it's time that Hollywood cease and desist the gross liberties they have taken with our precious history, that they take responsibility for their actions and realize the massive influence they wield not only in the United States but upon the entire world. Then again, they would lose tremendous profits and a culture machine (the hyperbolic mirror of our society) would be slowed significantly and ...
Fuck it. I stand alone. Fuck you, Hollywood. Fuck you, Bollywood. Fuck you, Paris. Good night from an angry young man in Chicago.
Do yerself a favor and stand towards the direction of Hollywood and flash them two proud middle fingers.
It's outrageous to consider, even for a moment, Will Smith portraying Muhammad Ali. Mr. Smith cannot hold Mr. Ali's luggage. Unfortunately, many people who never grew up on the real thing will now equate the Fresh Prince with the Champ. Same shit happened almost decade ago with Denzel Washington and Malcolm X. Speaking of which, guess who the studio execs selected to play Malcolm X and Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.? No other than Mr. "New Jack City" Mario van Peebles and Mr. "Reading Rainbow" Levar Burton, respectively. This sincerely reeks of Wonder bread test-marketing. None of these actors resemble the great men they were hired to portray. So why these chumps? Why not hire Yaphet Koto as MLK and Jackie Chan as Muhammad Ali? Why not hire Brad Pitt to play Joe Frazier? Besides the obvious reasons, it's because Hollywood is much more concerned with profit margins and the garnering of undue prestige than they are with maintaining the public consciousness of the personalities they are appropriating. I have too much respect for the legacies of Malcolm and Muhammad and MLK to even think about going to see this insipid waste of celluloid. No doubt the film will gloss over the racial, ethnic, and social strife that nearly crippled this nation in the 1960s; put a happy spin on it all and send the audience home more lightheaded and ignorant than when they came in.
Hollywood-- or some smaller production entity on their behalf-- should revert to the procedure assumed in the early-mid 1900s: when creating a biopic, hire the actual personalities to portray themselves, regardless their acting capabilities. Babe Ruth did it. Jackie Robinson did it. Joe Louis did it. An Ali biopic should already have been produced when he lost embarassingly to Trevor Berbick in 1981. Plain and simple. This new and certainly not improved "Ali" is inexcusable.
But then again, do we really want much less need Hollywood trampling and maligning history any more than they already have? Millions of people were deeply influenced by the paranoid spook-theories of Oliver Stone's "JFK". Millions of people-- as scary as this may seem but it is very true, based upon the observations of several esteemed history professors-- believe that Forrest Gump met and knew Elvis Presley and LBJ and all those wondrous things that he did. Perhaps it's time that Hollywood cease and desist the gross liberties they have taken with our precious history, that they take responsibility for their actions and realize the massive influence they wield not only in the United States but upon the entire world. Then again, they would lose tremendous profits and a culture machine (the hyperbolic mirror of our society) would be slowed significantly and ...
Fuck it. I stand alone. Fuck you, Hollywood. Fuck you, Bollywood. Fuck you, Paris. Good night from an angry young man in Chicago.
by at 5:02 PM
Wanna hear something about our "American Taliban" fighter that everyone in America seems to have overlooked? His arrival in Afghanistan. When did he hook up with the Islamic fundamentalist mujahedeen in their civil war against other warring factions of the slightly less Islamic fundamental mujahedeen? If you guessed before the terrorist attacks of September 11th, then you guessed correctly. That's right, he's no more of a traitor than OJ Simpson. But will that stop the prosecution from seeking the highest form of punishment against this naive and foolhardy young man? The answer lies with bin Laden. If we neglect to find him soon, dead or alive, this kid is as good as dead. If we find Usama dead, then the kid is as good as dead. If we find him alive-- and I sincerely doubt we will-- then the kid will be relegated to page nine news and possibly manage to live out the rest of his life in a detention facility that will make Rudolph Hess' seem downright cozy... wait, Hess' was rather cozy!
You know, if Merle Haggard were the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court we wouldn't be in any of this mess. And President Chuck Berry would be too busy stealing the pot-harem of Vice President Willie Nelson to start any shit with anybody from anywhere. And ya know what else? No one in the Presidential cabinet, not a single person, would be a multi-millionaire. Didya know that in Dubya's cabinet there are 18 millionaires occupying the 19 available posts (okay, twenty, but I'm not aware of Gov. Tom Ridge's fiscal stats). And let us not forget our Nat'l Security Advisor, the benevolent U.S.S. Condoleeza Rice, who, as a former energy executive, is obviously quite well-off. I don't know about you, but my forefathers came to this country to get away from the bourgeouise, from the dictates of the ruling oligarchic class. None of these people represent me. Michael Bloomberg can take his money and flush it down his gold-plated Italian-made bidet, as far as I'm concerned. These power-hungry low-libido schmucks do not represent the constituency I belong to; they wouldn't even know where to begin.
It's high time for a revolution, one that makes sense for everyone, not just the nation's top 1%. At some point, this country must live and abide by the logic it professes to be governed by, the verysame reason applied by our court system. It's time we make freedom synonymous with democracy. It's time we remove the emphasis we place upon our very particular brand of economy instead of the absolute freedoms all human beings strive for. Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton would be disgusted with how we have commercialized democracy, made it availabe to the highest bidder. It's time for--- yup, Democratic Fundamentalism.
You know, if Merle Haggard were the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court we wouldn't be in any of this mess. And President Chuck Berry would be too busy stealing the pot-harem of Vice President Willie Nelson to start any shit with anybody from anywhere. And ya know what else? No one in the Presidential cabinet, not a single person, would be a multi-millionaire. Didya know that in Dubya's cabinet there are 18 millionaires occupying the 19 available posts (okay, twenty, but I'm not aware of Gov. Tom Ridge's fiscal stats). And let us not forget our Nat'l Security Advisor, the benevolent U.S.S. Condoleeza Rice, who, as a former energy executive, is obviously quite well-off. I don't know about you, but my forefathers came to this country to get away from the bourgeouise, from the dictates of the ruling oligarchic class. None of these people represent me. Michael Bloomberg can take his money and flush it down his gold-plated Italian-made bidet, as far as I'm concerned. These power-hungry low-libido schmucks do not represent the constituency I belong to; they wouldn't even know where to begin.
It's high time for a revolution, one that makes sense for everyone, not just the nation's top 1%. At some point, this country must live and abide by the logic it professes to be governed by, the verysame reason applied by our court system. It's time we make freedom synonymous with democracy. It's time we remove the emphasis we place upon our very particular brand of economy instead of the absolute freedoms all human beings strive for. Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton would be disgusted with how we have commercialized democracy, made it availabe to the highest bidder. It's time for--- yup, Democratic Fundamentalism.
by at 6:14 PM
Also, in case you're wondering, www.analjihad.com is currently available.
by at 3:00 PM
Just out of curiousity, I did a domain name search for americantaliban.com . Dot Com was registered on September 19th. Now that's quick thinking! The dot net and dot info were also registered, albeit in October but still before this "American Taliban" dude was discovered, also done by someone hoping to make some money. See? Who am I to judge? As Clutch says, "everybody gotta make a living somehow." I find it fascinating.
But is it worth money? Who's got the balls to actually MAKE an "American Taliban" website? Not me. I enjoy not being in jail.
But is it worth money? Who's got the balls to actually MAKE an "American Taliban" website? Not me. I enjoy not being in jail.
by at 2:59 PM
WAR "NEWS:"
So, we still don't have bin Laden. But you know who we do have? AMERICAN TALIBAN! AMERICAN TALIBAN! EVEN MORE DEADLY THAN AMERICAN NINJA!
In the end, I don't think it matters if we get bin Laden, as long as we have this confused 20 year old hippie to blame this all on. You've got his parents, sounding like the Trenchcoat Mafia parents, claiming "Aww, gee whiz, I didn't give him permission to go to Pakistan. I thought he was out in the garage making pipe bombs like the other kids." Look, even Guliani gets in on the action, suggesting the death penalty for AMERICAN TALIBAN!
Why is everyone so obsessed about this confused kid? He obviously was too cowardly to die for his cause, as he likely would have at the hands of the Northern Alliance (or even the CIA) had he taken his medicine and not played his "American" card. If he hadn't spoke up, he probably would have died that day.
We're a punative people, aren't we? We need a scapegoat. I thought we had already found our guilty party. Shouldn't we be asking where the mastermind is? Oh wait, he's rich enough to get away, isn't he?
Rudy, if you want him to suffer that badly, throw him in a NYC prison, where he'll be gang raped every day until he dies. Sheesh!
If the news on the wire is true, bad events for Bush. We've destroyed that Tali-band and Al_Quesadilla, along with most of the cities in Afghanistan, and altered the Tora Bora landscape. There isn't much left to do, apparently. But gee whiz, bin Laden got away, they're now saying. He may have skeedaddled into Pakistan, where he'll be VERY hard to get. Maybe they should offer more reward money: After all, the US already gave the taliban 43 million to halt their drug trade, which is just about half of what they're offering to anyone willing to betray him. So, Bush is looking at the prospects of: 1) a short war, and 2) only partial fullfillment of our goals (our stated goals, anyway.) That didn't work out too well for his old man.
If the military can't even track down bin Laden, how are they going to figure out how to shoot nuclear misslies out of the sky?
There's nothing like the Christmas season to renew my sense of self-rightous disgust.
So, at lunchtime at work, some of the coworkers thought it would be fun to watch a Christmas movie during lunch break. Not being one to miss an opportunity to dick off at work, I joined. We watched "The Grinch," my first time trying to watch that piece of crap. I made it maybe 20 minutes before leaving to expel my freshly eaten lunch. I'm here to say, everyone involved in that piece of awful rancid garbage should be damned to hell. No wonder they waited until Dr. Seuss died to exploit this story, remove the whole fucking point, and use it to sell Coca Cola and toys. Never wanted to be a monk so much in my life.
So, we still don't have bin Laden. But you know who we do have? AMERICAN TALIBAN! AMERICAN TALIBAN! EVEN MORE DEADLY THAN AMERICAN NINJA!
In the end, I don't think it matters if we get bin Laden, as long as we have this confused 20 year old hippie to blame this all on. You've got his parents, sounding like the Trenchcoat Mafia parents, claiming "Aww, gee whiz, I didn't give him permission to go to Pakistan. I thought he was out in the garage making pipe bombs like the other kids." Look, even Guliani gets in on the action, suggesting the death penalty for AMERICAN TALIBAN!
Why is everyone so obsessed about this confused kid? He obviously was too cowardly to die for his cause, as he likely would have at the hands of the Northern Alliance (or even the CIA) had he taken his medicine and not played his "American" card. If he hadn't spoke up, he probably would have died that day.
We're a punative people, aren't we? We need a scapegoat. I thought we had already found our guilty party. Shouldn't we be asking where the mastermind is? Oh wait, he's rich enough to get away, isn't he?
Rudy, if you want him to suffer that badly, throw him in a NYC prison, where he'll be gang raped every day until he dies. Sheesh!
If the news on the wire is true, bad events for Bush. We've destroyed that Tali-band and Al_Quesadilla, along with most of the cities in Afghanistan, and altered the Tora Bora landscape. There isn't much left to do, apparently. But gee whiz, bin Laden got away, they're now saying. He may have skeedaddled into Pakistan, where he'll be VERY hard to get. Maybe they should offer more reward money: After all, the US already gave the taliban 43 million to halt their drug trade, which is just about half of what they're offering to anyone willing to betray him. So, Bush is looking at the prospects of: 1) a short war, and 2) only partial fullfillment of our goals (our stated goals, anyway.) That didn't work out too well for his old man.
If the military can't even track down bin Laden, how are they going to figure out how to shoot nuclear misslies out of the sky?
There's nothing like the Christmas season to renew my sense of self-rightous disgust.
So, at lunchtime at work, some of the coworkers thought it would be fun to watch a Christmas movie during lunch break. Not being one to miss an opportunity to dick off at work, I joined. We watched "The Grinch," my first time trying to watch that piece of crap. I made it maybe 20 minutes before leaving to expel my freshly eaten lunch. I'm here to say, everyone involved in that piece of awful rancid garbage should be damned to hell. No wonder they waited until Dr. Seuss died to exploit this story, remove the whole fucking point, and use it to sell Coca Cola and toys. Never wanted to be a monk so much in my life.
by at 2:37 PM
will somebody please alert the president that the cold war is over?
what is trying to pull on the russians now? let's screw the abm. o.k. it is pushing 30 years old, but if there's something in there you don't like, why not try harder to find a way to amend the treaty, intead of waving your big dick in front of the russians, and pulling out competely? i just have to ask. am i too naive? am i too optimistic? should i be persecuted for my compassion?
well, if we do abandonded the abm, you know what that means. yup. nuclear; or as the president likes to say, "nuculer" (he has such a panache with the redneck vernacular, doesn't he?) missiles for everyone!
i know what i'm going to do with mine! i'm gonna launch it at the bastards in the coach house behind me. they like to blast their dance club music at 4am every monday, grease themselves in baby oil and chase each other around the house in their g-strings (i keep a very close eye on my neighbors).
i can see it now
Doo-kah DOO-kah DOO-kah DOO....KA-BLAM-MO! NO MORE FUCKIN DANCE MUSIC FOR YOU FOR THE NEXT3000 YEARS YOU FUCKERS! HOW DO YA LIKE THAT!!!
anyway, the boys at ge are probably glad to hear the news, after having to pay katie curic $20 milion for looking like a floozie every morning. rich people have it so rough.
well, please come see the show tomorrow. i promise to leave my nukes at home!
what is trying to pull on the russians now? let's screw the abm. o.k. it is pushing 30 years old, but if there's something in there you don't like, why not try harder to find a way to amend the treaty, intead of waving your big dick in front of the russians, and pulling out competely? i just have to ask. am i too naive? am i too optimistic? should i be persecuted for my compassion?
well, if we do abandonded the abm, you know what that means. yup. nuclear; or as the president likes to say, "nuculer" (he has such a panache with the redneck vernacular, doesn't he?) missiles for everyone!
i know what i'm going to do with mine! i'm gonna launch it at the bastards in the coach house behind me. they like to blast their dance club music at 4am every monday, grease themselves in baby oil and chase each other around the house in their g-strings (i keep a very close eye on my neighbors).
i can see it now
Doo-kah DOO-kah DOO-kah DOO....KA-BLAM-MO! NO MORE FUCKIN DANCE MUSIC FOR YOU FOR THE NEXT3000 YEARS YOU FUCKERS! HOW DO YA LIKE THAT!!!
anyway, the boys at ge are probably glad to hear the news, after having to pay katie curic $20 milion for looking like a floozie every morning. rich people have it so rough.
well, please come see the show tomorrow. i promise to leave my nukes at home!
by at 11:49 AM
I put up a last minute show, be sure to go to this if you can. It's probably free. We're going to debut new songs, and I want to see just how far I can push it at Phyllis until they say "never come back again, jerk!" While I was at it, I changed the links. Bush Is Not President, a site I loved, was removed on September 11th. I don't understand that one. Ask Kim what's up with that. Also, Nanette took her site down, which I saw coming. Thankfully she seems to be happy and doing things in the real world. I'd write her, but she never writes back.
I'm also going to do a BLOG OF THE MONTH feature. I'm just going to put in random people who have contacted me or whose weblogs I think are worth reading. And I hope that at some point I'm going to be able to figure out this web stuff. I need help, seriously. If ANYBODY out there reads this and would like to help us out getting a host and setting up some pages, CONTACT US and we'll hook you up with beer, joints, airplane glue, or something you'd be into. Now that the MP3s are in the future, we might have something to write about.
I'm also going to do a BLOG OF THE MONTH feature. I'm just going to put in random people who have contacted me or whose weblogs I think are worth reading. And I hope that at some point I'm going to be able to figure out this web stuff. I need help, seriously. If ANYBODY out there reads this and would like to help us out getting a host and setting up some pages, CONTACT US and we'll hook you up with beer, joints, airplane glue, or something you'd be into. Now that the MP3s are in the future, we might have something to write about.
by at 2:59 PM
Today I popped on over to the website of one of Chicago's most prestigous clubs, the Metro. I just wanted to find out when the Clutch show was. Unfortunately, the site is a complicated mess with an annoying soundtrack. Here, if you have a fast connection, check it out. Why do they need all of those trappings? Perhaps it is to capture all of the kiddies that need flashy bright web sites with music and shit flying out at you all the time, like the Q101 site. Certainly, a lot of the music selection over there recently seems to reflect that: Not as many city bands as suburb ones. Anyhow, I just wanted to pop in and check the calendar. Maybe they should add a text only link on the front page to a bare-bones calendar. Then again, I don't do web programming (yet), what do I know?
But I have to say, someone has done a fabulous job with the history and timeline sections. It's very exhaustive, and will probably expand in the future too.
Even more interesting is the message board section. On it are dozens of kids plugging their friends' bands (like Swizzle Tree) and dissing other's bands (like Swizzle Tree.) Check it out for some serious sour- grapin'!
But I have to say, someone has done a fabulous job with the history and timeline sections. It's very exhaustive, and will probably expand in the future too.
Even more interesting is the message board section. On it are dozens of kids plugging their friends' bands (like Swizzle Tree) and dissing other's bands (like Swizzle Tree.) Check it out for some serious sour- grapin'!
by at 3:55 PM
Via Salon, OJ may have been warned about the drug ring probe. How many people are on this guy's payroll?
I wonder if even a military tribunal could stop OJ. HE IS DANGEROUS.
I wonder if even a military tribunal could stop OJ. HE IS DANGEROUS.
by at 3:01 PM
I tried to make my posts light-hearted yesterday, but it is really hard to do with all of the scary, depressing news.
Over the weekend, a horrible terrorist attack occured in Isreal. Unfortunately, the US have rendered themselves powerless by their actions. The flaming rhetoric used by Bush to declare, "the attack was an act of war," "you're with us or with the terrorists," and "any country that harbors terrorists will face our wrath," which was soothing to the American people months ago, is biting us in the ass. Now, when Sharon strikes back, we have no moral leg to stand on. Isreal is pissed off now and, who knows if they'll stop short of laying Palestine to total waste and igniting WWIII? They're using America's words, calling the terrorist attack an act of war, holding Arafat personally responsible for not controling these extremist groups, and striking with deadly force. This is a very dangerous situation: bin Laden has linked the terrorist strikes of 9/11 to the struggle of Palestine against Isreal. And while that is pretty much a load of complete shit, bin Laden knows full well of the Arab perception that the U.S. always sides with Isreal. (And it really is horrible for Arabs to watch their Palestine brothers throwing rocks while the Isrealites launch laser-guided missiles.) For us to show unconditional support for military retaliation only strengthens this belief and fuels the "jihad" bin Laden is trying to cultivate. The last thing we want is Isreal + America vs. all Muslim arabs. That would be WWIII. And that's also going to make domestic terrorism go through the roof! That may be upon us now.
This Isreal- Palestine showdown has been all but unavoidable. Sharon decries Arafat for not cracking down on extremists. Meanwhile, to retaliate for extremist actions, they blow up police stations located in public areas. Now how is Arafat going to detain terrorists IF ISREAL KEEPS BLOWING UP THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO STOP THEM?
And on top of that, it's Tom Ridge's turn to issue another call for Americans to be on "high alert" for terrorist activity. I guess he thought we were getting soft on terrorists since nothing has happened here other than the 'thrax. So do as Bush wants you to and keep an eye out for people in cropdusters! And if you see an A-Rab carrying a television out of a store this holiday season, shoot him in the fucking face. Rest assured, he is using it for terror. Better yet, since they have no leads on the nutcase who sent out all the anthrax, I'm just going to shoot everybody.
And last but CERTAINLY not least, HE IS DANGEROUS! Drug ring? Money laundering? Computer equipment? Yep, I'd probably start at OJ's house too. While they're at it maybe they'll find that knife!
Over the weekend, a horrible terrorist attack occured in Isreal. Unfortunately, the US have rendered themselves powerless by their actions. The flaming rhetoric used by Bush to declare, "the attack was an act of war," "you're with us or with the terrorists," and "any country that harbors terrorists will face our wrath," which was soothing to the American people months ago, is biting us in the ass. Now, when Sharon strikes back, we have no moral leg to stand on. Isreal is pissed off now and, who knows if they'll stop short of laying Palestine to total waste and igniting WWIII? They're using America's words, calling the terrorist attack an act of war, holding Arafat personally responsible for not controling these extremist groups, and striking with deadly force. This is a very dangerous situation: bin Laden has linked the terrorist strikes of 9/11 to the struggle of Palestine against Isreal. And while that is pretty much a load of complete shit, bin Laden knows full well of the Arab perception that the U.S. always sides with Isreal. (And it really is horrible for Arabs to watch their Palestine brothers throwing rocks while the Isrealites launch laser-guided missiles.) For us to show unconditional support for military retaliation only strengthens this belief and fuels the "jihad" bin Laden is trying to cultivate. The last thing we want is Isreal + America vs. all Muslim arabs. That would be WWIII. And that's also going to make domestic terrorism go through the roof! That may be upon us now.
This Isreal- Palestine showdown has been all but unavoidable. Sharon decries Arafat for not cracking down on extremists. Meanwhile, to retaliate for extremist actions, they blow up police stations located in public areas. Now how is Arafat going to detain terrorists IF ISREAL KEEPS BLOWING UP THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO STOP THEM?
And on top of that, it's Tom Ridge's turn to issue another call for Americans to be on "high alert" for terrorist activity. I guess he thought we were getting soft on terrorists since nothing has happened here other than the 'thrax. So do as Bush wants you to and keep an eye out for people in cropdusters! And if you see an A-Rab carrying a television out of a store this holiday season, shoot him in the fucking face. Rest assured, he is using it for terror. Better yet, since they have no leads on the nutcase who sent out all the anthrax, I'm just going to shoot everybody.
And last but CERTAINLY not least, HE IS DANGEROUS! Drug ring? Money laundering? Computer equipment? Yep, I'd probably start at OJ's house too. While they're at it maybe they'll find that knife!
by at 11:27 AM
Maybe they should have gotten Glenn Danzig to help write. WHOAHHH!!! I think Danzig's voice would sound great over the fusak the Dave Matthews Band plays. Although I think DMB might have a problem with lyrics like:
"HELLHOUND COMES, AND SO DO YOU!
YOUR FACE IS COVERED IN THE DEVIL'S SPEW!!!
EEAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
"HELLHOUND COMES, AND SO DO YOU!
YOUR FACE IS COVERED IN THE DEVIL'S SPEW!!!
EEAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
by at 3:38 PM
Hmmm. Maybe if tha DMB had recruited J.G. Ballard instead of Glenn the results would have been more interesting (their biggest hit was entitled "Crash," after all).
by at 3:12 PM
I came home last night and did a little channel surfing. I just plug my cable into the wall, and get an assorted and ever-changing bundle of a few basic cable channels. I flicked it by VH1 for their "My VH1 Awards Show." Now, any of those second-rate stars (Christian Slater, Ellen DeGeneres, Tom Arnold, etc.) that showed up to that industry self-felatio should wake up and fire their managers right now. I don't care how much money they got, I felt embarrased for them! Among the worst displays was Dave Matthews' tounge firmly planted into the cheeks of Glenn Ballard. "Thank you for helping us finish the album, he's a genius, etc..." Never mind that DMB fans largely HATE the new record because of his influence, and instead are widely trading the album the label rejected. If you ever need to have Glenn Ballard come in and "help you" with an album, you should immediately kill yourself.
Another absurd moment was seeing Calista Flockheart proclaim Lenny Kravitz as "The World's Perfect Rock Star." Hmm. Not that for a second I'd give a fuck what Calista Flockheart has to say about anything other than "sure, Mr. Cochryde, I'd love to sample some of your hot tube steak," but it made me think. How many other people really think Lenny Kravitz is the ROCKIN'IST guy out there today? How many kids are going to compare Lenny with Jimi Hendrix because they don't know any better?
Of course, when you think about it, he is the "perfect" rock star: He's a child of wealth and a cunning scenester, handsome as the dickens, worships at the altars of the past without a hint of irony or shame, and he looks good in leather pants and dreadlocks. You couldn't create a cyborg this perfect to marginalize the music I love! CHA-CHING! But he's also perfectly fucking boring as shit. Where I sit, all the best rock stars were VERY imperfect: Hendrix, Iggy, Joey, Neil, Chuck. And they weren't all that pretty, either. Need I go on?
Then, as if his original song wasn't bad enough, they brought Lenny's band up there to camera-mug with Mick Jagger at the end of the show, who's in the midst of staging an 11th hour cash-in. How embarrasing for everyone involved. Lenny is a pussy.
From where I stand, in the spectrum of music that matters, Lenny Kravitz falls somewhere in between Three Dog Night, Grand Funk Railroad and Beatlemania! The Ultimate Tribute to the Beatles! I hope that, before he dies, Chuck Berry finds Lenny Kravitz and dick-slaps him right in the eye. LONG LIVE CHUCK! LENNY SUCKS!
Another absurd moment was seeing Calista Flockheart proclaim Lenny Kravitz as "The World's Perfect Rock Star." Hmm. Not that for a second I'd give a fuck what Calista Flockheart has to say about anything other than "sure, Mr. Cochryde, I'd love to sample some of your hot tube steak," but it made me think. How many other people really think Lenny Kravitz is the ROCKIN'IST guy out there today? How many kids are going to compare Lenny with Jimi Hendrix because they don't know any better?
Of course, when you think about it, he is the "perfect" rock star: He's a child of wealth and a cunning scenester, handsome as the dickens, worships at the altars of the past without a hint of irony or shame, and he looks good in leather pants and dreadlocks. You couldn't create a cyborg this perfect to marginalize the music I love! CHA-CHING! But he's also perfectly fucking boring as shit. Where I sit, all the best rock stars were VERY imperfect: Hendrix, Iggy, Joey, Neil, Chuck. And they weren't all that pretty, either. Need I go on?
Then, as if his original song wasn't bad enough, they brought Lenny's band up there to camera-mug with Mick Jagger at the end of the show, who's in the midst of staging an 11th hour cash-in. How embarrasing for everyone involved. Lenny is a pussy.
From where I stand, in the spectrum of music that matters, Lenny Kravitz falls somewhere in between Three Dog Night, Grand Funk Railroad and Beatlemania! The Ultimate Tribute to the Beatles! I hope that, before he dies, Chuck Berry finds Lenny Kravitz and dick-slaps him right in the eye. LONG LIVE CHUCK! LENNY SUCKS!
by at 2:55 PM